Competition

I am 3 or four weeks into a 2 month long competition to see who can lose the most weight. And I am failing :'( I need to be in control, to prove to myself that I can do this.

I am fat

I wanna be skinny. My mom told my dad, who doesn't live with us, that I have lost weight and that I look like I have lost weight. So my dad told me that when he sees, if I'm any skinnier than I was before, then he's going to beat my bottom. Anyway, how in the world can my mom think my "stomach is flatter." Please, it's huge and disgusting.

I AM A BIG, FAT FAILURE!!!!

I can't control my eating. I keep binging and purging. I've lost weight but it was probably all water weight. Therefore, I am still fat and I am still the same. I am fasting on the weekdays, only 200 calories if I must eat (i.e. I'm starving or I get made to eat). Exercising 30 minutes a day. 500 calories on the weekends. I need to do this, for myself. To prove that I am strong, that I can do it! Thanks Nyx!!!!!!

Day 1

Day 1=bad :(

Mothers

I told my mother that I'm in a contest to lose the most weight. All she said was that I have an eating disorder and that I shouldn't. Nobody will support me and my strength :(

Caskets

So my mom is watching a documentary. It's talking about making wider caskets because people are getting fatter. :( I want to be in the skinest casket possible.

Blah

I'm kind of mad at myself for eating a ton but w/e. Tomorrow is a new day :) Also, I'm new at this blogging thing so if anybody could help out with anything, I'd appreciate it. Thanks in advance.